Hi my name is Anah I live next to a bridge Avignon France with my Mum Margaret Dad Antony and two very annoying little brothers Alec and Micah. We have an enormous house and also have a lot of windows so we can see the bridge. One day mum said “we should all have a picnic at the bridge so Mum packed some food in a basket and set off. Once we got there we all went onto the bridge and admired the view. Then ate some food I ate a ham sandwich once everyone had finished eating we went home.
By Anah
Hi Anah,
Thank you for entering the 100 Word Challenge this week, I enjoyed reading your writing. I liked the fact you have written in the first person and I like how you introduced the characters, your family, at the beginning of your writing. The picnic sounds wonderful. It perhaps would have been nice for you to describe the bridge in a little more detail.
Well done!
Mrs Stones – Bradford, U.K.
http://bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc/
Hi Anah,
You’ve tried hard to write your 100WC this week. Thank you. I like how you are the main character and have used the bridge as a setting for your story. You tried hard to use inverted commas/speech marks to show us that someone is speaking. Don’t forget to close them when someone has finished talking too or it can be a little bit confusing. Keep working hard on your writing.
Mrs McG (Team 100WC)
Derbyshire, England
Hello Anah,
Well done for entering this week’s 100 Word Challenge. You set the scene very well for your story and have spelt it correctly. You have clearly thought hard about what you wanted to write. Next time when you write a story think about writing it about someone or something very different from yourself. For example are you are brick in the bridge wondering why it isn’t finished? Are you an old man who has watched the bridge being built for years? Let your imagination go wild!!!
Dear Ms Woodgate
Thanks for the helpful advice Ms Woodgate. Next time I will be sure to write something a bit mor imaginative.
Bye Anah,thanks